The other day on my morning walk, I listened to a podcast that really resonated with me - it was from Ladies, We Need to Talk, and it was an episode on loneliness in midlife women.

Listen to the blog HERE.

At one point I had tears in my eyes, not because it was dramatic or sentimental, but because it validated what I have been feeling.

That quiet ache.
That weight you carry when life looks full on the outside, but something still feels missing.
That feeling that you’ve become invisible, even to yourself.

The episode was based on the 2024 Ending Loneliness Together Report, which highlights a striking reality: women over 40, especially those juggling caregiving, careers and also ageing parents, are among the most socially isolated in the country. Despite often being surrounded by people, many of us feel deeply, quietly alone.

And I felt that. In my bones.

The Hidden Loneliness of Being Needed

For the past two decades, I’ve been someone everyone else could rely on. A mother, a partner, a business owner, the emotional glue that held things together. But somewhere in the midst of showing up for everyone else, I stopped showing up for myself.

I don’t mean that in a “woe is me” kind of way. I love my family, and I love what I’ve built with Awesome Inc. But when I look back, I can see how often I came third. Family first. The business second. Me… maybe somewhere in the mix if there was time (spoiler: there usually wasn’t).

So, I know a lot of people, I've lived in Auckland since 2004, and I’ve made friends. I’ve had coffees and conversations, and engaged in my community. But still, I don’t have those ride-or-die friends here, not like I do in Australia where I grew up. You know that kind of deep, soul-level friendship you don’t need to explain. That absence has been another quiet ache, a background loneliness I’ve tried to outrun by being useful, productive, needed.

I Built the Tools I Needed… 

Over the years, I created products through Awesome Inc that were deeply personal. Every resilience toolkit, every gratitude journal, every affirmation card set was born from my own search for calm, clarity and connection. The Mindset Journal especially holds a piece of me. It’s full of the science-backed mindset strategies that helped me shift my thinking, regulate my emotions, and crawl out of my own spiral when life felt too much.

But here’s the hard truth: I didn’t always use those tools regularly.

I was sharing the strategies, but barely finding time to apply them. The pressure of running a small business and raising a family often meant putting my own mental health and self-care last - again. I’d go through the motions while quietly battling burnout. I’d share tips on self-care, gratitude and mindset while ignoring my own warning signs.

And it caught up with me.

Add in the Perimenopause Fog

A chapter of life we’re barely prepared for, and it’s no wonder so many women in their 40s and 50s feel like they’re falling apart. I spent years thinking I was just tired or anxious or not coping well enough. But what I was actually experiencing was a hormonal shift caused by perimenopause, with zero guidance and a heap of misdiagnosis.

It wasn’t until I found the right language, the right support, and eventually, HRT, that I started to make sense of it all.

But by then, I’d already been living in survival mode for far too long.

The Business Became My Identity

Awesome Inc has been part of my life for nearly ten years. It’s been my creative outlet, my mission, my security blanket, and the way I turned hard seasons into something useful. I am incredibly proud of what it’s become, the reach it’s had, the lives it’s touched.

But it also became everything.
My identity.
My worth.
My proof that I was doing something good, even when I didn’t feel good.

That’s a heavy thing to carry when you’re running on empty.

So I’ve made the hard but honest decision to sell the business. Not because I don’t love it anymore. But because I need to make space for myself again.

What Comes Next

This next chapter isn’t about reinvention. I’m not burning it all down or rushing toward some shiny new version of me.

It’s more subtle than that. I'm looking forward to:
Quiet mornings.
Walks without guilt.
Journaling for me, not as market research.
New creative outlets.
It’s putting myself on the list, not at the bottom of it.

And maybe, finally, creating the kind of deep female friendships I've been craving since moving here.

If any of this feels familiar, or if you’re also somewhere in that messy middle, wondering where you went, I hope this reminds you that you’re not alone. You’re not behind, and you’re not selfish for wanting more for yourself.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stop, reflect, and reclaim.

PS:
To every customer who’s supported Awesome Inc - THANK YOU! So many of these wellbeing products were created because I needed them too. If they’ve helped you feel a little more steady, connected or seen, I hope you know that means the world to me.

You can read more about the business sale here, and for now, I’m still here, making space, clearing shelves, and slowly finding my way back to me.