Beautiful boundaries aren’t about building barriers, they are about defining our foundations, in order to keep us standing on solid ground, feeling safe and secure, ultimately allowing us to stay true to what we value as an individual.
“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.” – Henry Cloud
So why are boundaries so hard to enforce at times?
Often that feeling of guilt or fear will have us saying yes at our own expense.
We can often instantly gauge when we’ve compromised our internal compass and values, our body sends us signals, sometimes evoking a stirring sensation within the pit of our stomach.
Boundaries play an integral part when it comes to our health and well-being, so how do we prevent ourselves from compromising our own inner peace and contentment?
We can start by tuning in, we begin trusting our own inner GPS, that natural instinct and those signals that whisper (or perhaps SCREAM!) ‘Wrong way’ and consciously listen when it doesn’t feel right.
When we understand our individual values and clarify what we need in order to feel calm and contented, we are less likely to compromise our own well-being.
So before you go agreeing to something that doesn’t sit well, ponder these elements first:
- GUT INSTINCT – Check in with your body – how are you feeling physically?
- VALUES – Question whether it sits within your core belief system and what you value – Are you compromising what means the most to you if you say yes?
- DESIRED FEELINGS – How does it make you feel? Does saying yes make you feel contented and edge you closer to your core desired feelings?
The answers we seek are often already within us, sometimes we simply have to trust we know whats best for us.
If you still feel you need some extra guidance with your decision making, seek out some support from someone you trust. Sometimes it helps to download and gain clarity through processing what might work best.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, up your brave and start saying ‘no thank you’ to those people or places that can deplete your energy – be clear and concise in your decision.
When we affirm choices that work for us, we can often find contentment, freedom and liberation on the other side.
Begin to place more importance on your self care and well-being, let your gut instinct lead you to those people and places where your values and feelings are honoured.
Learn more ways to build resilience with
The Resilience Toolkit
About Amy Willoughby
Amy is a writer, content creator and life coach at Be and Bloom. Amy is passionate about connecting people through writing, coaching and the power of storytelling. The first 20 years of her career was spent behind the stylists chair as a hairstylist, where she honed her skills of listening, holding space, connecting and creating clarity through conversation.
Amy’s hairdressing career came to a close after spending 3 years helping clients journey through chemotherapy, fitting and styling wigs. This was the perfect bridge and catalyst for retraining as a life coach which has led to exploration of values, modalities of wellbeing, writing and storytelling.
More about Amy and Be and Bloom…